Maybe it is worse to have come back. I’m probably just hurting myself more and more if I stay waiting… waiting… and waiting… Checked my phone, nothing. Watching the clock as it goes by. Anticipating every second, as each minute feels like eternity. It feels like my days have been longer than usual. I force myself to be occupied with activities, so I don’t despair on waiting. We barely make time for each other anymore, as if we are slowly drifting apart. Things aren’t like how they used to be.

I have never waited this long for anything in my life and it wasn’t like this before. Things changed between us and I’m beginning to doubt things will ever be the same again. My mind is beginning to persuade me that all we had before is gone, slowly fading away into our past that we once had together in our lives. Maybe it is better if you move on without me, so none of us get hurt in the long run. Well, it feels like you already did move on. I know you told me straight up already, but I still have this confusion overbearing me as I think about us. I mean, is their even really an us? You and I together? Cause it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it right now.

You know what is so ironic? I was the one that wanted to take things slow, but I’m not the one that is holding back. Yet, I feel like you’re the one holding back, but you told me you weren’t so sure if you could. Hmm, or maybe you’re not holding back. Maybe everything we once had is all gone. It’s all finally have come to the end. WE have finally come to an end. I wonder where it all has even gone to, just like that, in an instant. Because I wish I got a warning before any of it left. Left me hanging with so many unanswered questions. Will I ever know the truth behind every word that has been spoken or will be speak? Or maybe it is best some questions are left answered.

oh wells, I guess the only thing I can do right now is wait for you and hope things will get better. But don’t be so surprised when I come to the point where I’m tired of waiting for things to get better between us. You had the chance, you took it for granted. I’m sick of these childish games of playing with my heart is some kind of entertainment, story of my fucking life.

Sorry, don’t mind me and my over analyzing mind. I’m probably just being hysterical. This is all just a phase, right? RIGHT? We’ll see…